Consent is an important topic that many people assume to be too advanced for little ones. However, it’s more than possible to teach consent to toddlers and young children in a way that they will understand.

Teaching the concept of consent to little ones is a great way to teach them about respect, empathy, kindness and setting boundaries. Teach your child consent to help them stay safe and grow into a respectful, kind individual.

Why Should We Teach Kids About Consent?

We should talk to kids about consent because it teaches them how to respect themselves as well as others. It teaches them how to set boundaries, how to speak up for themselves and how to recognize and respect others’ boundaries.

Teaching children how to set boundaries for themselves and speak up when they feel unsafe is important because abuse can happen anywhere. Approximately 91% of child sexual abuse cases involve a perpetrator that the child or their family is familiar with. This is why your children should know that they can set and enforce boundaries for themselves even with people that they know.

When children know they can set personal boundaries and have trusted adults they can go to for help, they are more likely to speak up when anyone makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable. When they learn that they don’t have to give a hug to a relative if they’re not comfortable, they also learn that they have a right to set boundaries with everyone around them.

It’s also important that children learn at a young age to respect others’ boundaries, which is part of social emotional learning (SEL). SEL is important for toddlers and school age children because it helps them develop the skills necessary to navigate adulthood. The goal of social emotional learning is to promote children’s social-awareness, self-awareness, self-management, decision making skills and relationship skills so that they develop qualities such as self-control and empathy as they grow.

When little ones learn how to respect the boundaries of others, they learn how to be kind. They learn how to recognize others’ needs and show empathy. While we should teach children that hugs are a great way to spread kindness, it’s also important to teach them to recognize when a friend might need some space.

At What Age Should Kids Learn About Consent?

Kids can learn about consent at any age. While it’s a common topic in high school health classes, it’s also a topic we can introduce to preschoolers. Preschoolers can learn the basic foundations of consent such as setting boundaries, respecting boundaries and understanding that they can speak up if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable. Parents and caregivers can even lay the foundations for teaching consent to infants and toddlers by explaining what they are doing during basic care routines or asking a toddler before giving them a hug.

How Do I Talk to My Child About Consent?

Talking to children about consent can be simple, and you don’t even have to use the word, “consent,” at all. You can explain to your child in ways they’ll understand that it’s okay to say “no” if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable. If you’re wondering how to talk to your child about consent, consider the following tips:

Introduce Simple Phrases

Use language that is clear and consistent when you talk about consent with young children. Teach them simple phrases they can use such as “I don’t like that,” “no, thank you,” “I don’t want a hug right now,” “this is my body” or “please stop.”

You can begin teaching consent to your child from infancy. Talk to your baby or young toddler while you change their diaper or perform other care routines, and explain what you’re doing with phrases like, “I’m going to help you onto the changing table” or “I’m going to get a new diaper for you.” Even if your baby doesn’t fully understand what you’re saying, it will help their language development, and they will eventually learn what you are telling them as their vocabulary grows.

Set an Example

Model consent for your children so they have an example to look up to. Ask your child before giving them a hug, and ask them if they would like you to help them perform tasks such as brushing their teeth, bathing or getting dressed. While many of these tasks are necessary, giving your child the choice to accept help or practice independence will grow their confidence.

If your children are still young enough to need your help with basic care tasks, you can give them choices such as completing the tasks in the moment or waiting a few minutes. If they don’t want you to help them brush their teeth or comb their hair, give them the choice to let you help them now or wait two minutes. This lets them know that the task is necessary, but it also gives them the chance to make a personal choice about their body.

Find Teachable Moments

Use everyday teachable moments to teach your little one about consent. If they rush to give a friend a hug as you pick them up from daycare, remind them to ask first. If you attend a family cookout and an aunt or uncle tries to pick your child up when they feel uncomfortable, remind them that it’s okay to say, “no.” If your child doesn’t feel like giving hugs after Easter dinner, you can ask them to give high-fives or a friendly wave instead.

Use Books as a Fun Teaching Aid

Read fun stories about consent to introduce the topic to your child. Children love books, and reading books together is a great way to bond with your little one. Read the heartwarming story, Would You Like a Hug?, to your child to introduce the topic of consent in a fun and age-appropriate manner.

Follow Gus and Grumpy Bear through the forest as Gus searches for a hug. Throughout the story, discuss each character with your child and how Gus respects their personal boundaries. Children will love joining Gus and Grumpy Bear on their adventure, and they will enjoy a heartwarming surprise at the end. Purchase Would You Like a Hug? to plan your next story time adventure with your little one.